A poem. "He tried to get me in his van..."

He tried to get me in his van;

they always do,

those in athletic socks

sweat pants

A shirts.

Said he had creme pies,

at home, where I could see if I wanted,

and he offered me an eclair.

The Athenians screaming "republic! republic!"

I kicked him in his balls,

with his eclair in my hand,

and I left him there, hyperventilating,

with his sweaty purple face.

No thank you,

I could have said,

but I said it instead

with my foot.